MOM

Mom. Such a simple and small word, but with a huge significance. I find it wonderful how a word with only three letters can have so many different meanings and can cause so many different feelings, depending on who says, hears or reads it. If you ask people what “mom” means to them, you will most certainly get as many different answers as persons you asked the question to. Some people will talk about their own mom and what she means to them. Others will talk about themselves as a mom and how that is a blessing, a challenge, or both. Some will tell you what a wonderful mom their wife, sister or best friend is. Some will talk about that special person who is like a mom to them, even if she isn’t really their mother. Others will be sad as their mom is no longer with them, but will remember how wonderful she was in life.

So what does the word “mom” mean to me? Probably too much to describe in a blogpost, but I’ll give it a try anyway. Without any doubt, I should start with the person who gave meaning to the word “mom” in my life long before I was able to pronounce or understand it, and even before I was born. That very special person who was looking forward to being my mom before she had even met me, who cared for me while I was still growing inside her, who gave birth to me on an early Monday morning 33 years ago and has been there for me ever since. The person who taught me so many things in my early life, who was proud of me when I reached important milestones, who was happy when I was happy and tried to make me feel better when I was sad. The woman who saw how I grew up and started to make my own decisions, and who always supported those decisions even though some of them would break her heart. Thank you Mom, for everything you taught me, gave me, sacrificed for me, and for your unconditional love and support throughout my life. Thanks for always being there for me, even though from a distance. Thanks for being who you are and for helping me become who I am – I couldn’t imagine a better mom than you!

Besides my own mother, there are other people I think of when hearing the word “mom”. My mom’s mom, for example. My grandma. I feel so incredibly blessed that she is still with us and that I have been able to spend so much time and so many wonderful moments with her, and that it has been possible for me to share so many important events and stages in my life with her – including my own motherhood. I admire her strength and the way she raised her four children, most of the time with little or no help as my grandpa was working hard and studying at the same time to try to give his family a better future. I couldn’t imagine a better role model for me now that I’m a mom myself and I hope to be able to teach my girls many of the things I’ve learned from her during my life.

And then there is my Costa Rican mom. The woman who is not my biological mother and who I only met when I was eighteen years old, but who has been like a second mom to me for the past fifteen years. The mother of one of my best friends, who welcomed me in her house when I first visited Costa Rica and who took me in when I came back two years later to study here for seven months. She made me feel welcome, at home and part of the family from the very first moment, and things haven’t changed since then even if we don’t live in the same house anymore and we don’t see each other as often as we’d like to – when I do visit her, I still feel at home the moment I step into her house. At moments when I would have loved to have my own mother with me but that wasn’t possible because of the distance, she was there for me. We have this special relationship where she is my second mom as my own mom is far away, and I’m her second daughter as her own daughter is far away, too. I’m so happy destiny decided to make her part of my life, and hope she will be for many many years to come!

And finally, there is my most recent meaning to the word “mom”. Myself. My own experience as a mom of twin girls. I know I’m not anywhere near the vast experience as a mom that the earlier mentioned three women possess, but the last few years have taught me quite a few things on motherhood already: the good, the wonderful, the hard, the challenging and the amazing aspects of motherhood. Some people say you become a mom when you give birth. I have to  disagree, as I felt I was a mom from the very moment I saw those two lines appear on my pregnancy test, and even more so when I heard the heartbeats of my two tiny miracles for the first time when I was only seven weeks pregnant. I didn’t know yet if they were boys or girls, what their names would be, what they would look like, how their personalities would be, or how I would manage to care for both of them at the same time after they were born. But I loved them already and started to care for them as good as I possibly could while they were still growing and developing inside my belly. I started to talk and sing to them before they were born, and during the last part of my pregnancy I was able to tell them apart and to already note differences between the two of them. In the last two and a half years I’ve seen them change from the tiny, fragile, premature baby girls to the beautiful, strong, happy, adventurous and talkative toddler girls they are now. The last three years have without any doubt been the hardest and most challenging part of my life so far, but also the most amazing, incredible and wonderful time of my life. And I think that’s what motherhood is. I think most moms will agree when I say that being a mom is hard and challenging, but at the same time the best thing that has happened to me in my life. The love I feel for those two little girls, the love I know they feel for me (and their own toddler way of showing it to me), seeing them grow and learn new things every day and the thoughts of so many things I’m planning to do for them and with them in years to come – it all just makes me feel happy and blessed for being a mom. For being a M.O.M. (mother of multiples). And mostly, for being THEIR mom.

Even though in Costa Rica we won’t celebrate it until the 15^th of August, tomorrow it will be Mother’s Day in many countries in the world, including my home country, Holland. So: Happy Mother’s Day, Mom. Happy Mother’s Day, Grandma. Happy Dutch Mother’s Day, Costa Rican Mom (that’s the advantage of having a Dutch daughter: you’ll get to celebrate Mother’s Day twice a year – even though you’ll have to wait until August for your present). Happy Mother’s Day to me (and yes, I’ll be celebrating twice, too). And Happy Mother’s Day to all moms out there who are struggling, fighting and making sacrifices for their children, who are proud of their children’s achievements, who are giving their very best to make their kids happy and who feel happy themselves when they see their children smile. Happy Mother’s Day to all of you!