Common questions to parents of twins – Part 2: the uncomfortable/way too personal questions

After my previous post on common ‘odd/silly/way too obvious’ questions to parents of twins, today I’ll write about the most frequently asked uncomfortable or very personal questions that parents of multiples come across in their daily life. Mostly, these are questions you would probably never ask a mom of one child or children of different ages, but somehow people think it’s ok to ask a mother of multiples. Future parents of twins: as you will undoubtedly hear these questions in the years to come, I would recommend you read through them and try to prepare in advance, so that you can possibly avoid some uncomfortable situations while visiting a public place with your twins.

Common questions to parents of twins – Part 1: the odd/silly/way too obvious questions

As a parent of twins, you will come across many complete strangers finding you suddenly very interesting and trying to initiate a conversation by asking all kinds of silly, odd, stupid, uncomfortable or very personal questions that they would probably never ask to a singleton mom or dad, but somehow think it’s ok to ask to a parent of multiples. Just add to this that most of these questions are asked at the most uncomfortable moments (imagine you’re trying to comfort two crying babies at the same time, or attempting to get two toddler twins in their car seats as fast as possible to be home on time for their afternoon nap or dinner), and you’ll have the perfect combination for getting really stressed, upset or even angry with these strangers who are wasting your time or asking things that are not of their business. In the beginning, I found the best way to move on quickly was to just smile or nod or give a quick evasive answer, or sometimes even ignoring people if possible (I know, that’s not very nice… but many questions aren’t, either). However, with time you’ll get used to questions and you can choose depending on each situation if it’s best to give the nod/smile/quick answer reaction and move on or give a real answer/explanation (most of the times you’ll notice that people weren’t really expecting that much information or they even don’t really care and just wanted to start a conversation). Or if you would rather have some fun you can even use a joke or silly answer that will certainly stop people from asking any further. 

Heredity of twin births and different twin types

“Do twins run in your family?” This has probably been one of the most asked questions – by friends as well as strangers – since the very moment we learned we were expecting twins. What follows is usually me giving a brief explanation of why it doesn’t really matter if there are twins in our families or not, as identical twins (like our girls) are never hereditary. People then usually stop asking, but most of the times I can see by the look on their face that either they didn’t quite understand or they just don’t (want to) believe it. So I’ll take a moment here to explain a bit more about the heredity of twins and the differences between identical and fraternal twins.